Monday, August 20, 2012

Funny things my kids have said

My mom told me that I should make sure I write down the funny things my kids say in detail, so I will always remember it.

She sometimes runs across a hint on a sheet of paper that was supposed to remind her of the funny thing one of us said and she just can't remember it, so I have a small hard covered notebook that my mother-in-law gave me from the Big Kids' baby shower that I write down the funny things my kids say.

I will admit, they are not quite as funny reading them as it was experiencing them, but I am thankful to have the memories saved anyway and now that it is on my blog, I won't have to worry if I ever lose the notebook.

Here are a few of the funny things my kids have said in their five years of life.

Monkey age 1 - "I made puppies (poopies). I stink."

Monkey almost 2 - When Daddy gets mad, because someone ripped a book's page, she says, "A cat did it."

Bear almost 2 - He swipes the glasses off of my face and says, "I can't see! I can't see!"

Monkey almost 2 - Brings me a naked baby doll and says, "The baby's clothes....they fall off!"

Bear age 2 - While we are at mass, he tells the old man behind us that my purse is, "Mommy's let's go."

Bear age 2 - sets a baby doll in a chair and says, "You're in time out baby. You're in time out baby."

Monkey age 2 - When Bear slips on a ladder at the playground and knocks out his front tooth I say, "Shit." and she repeats it. When I tell her it is a bad word and not to say it, she says, "Oh my goodness!"

Bear age 2 - When I show him what he looks like now that he knocked out his tooth he exclaims, "I look cute!"

Bear age 2 - His friend, G, gives him a kiss good-bye and he says, "That was a good kiss!"

Monkey age 2 - When we pull into Wal Mart's parking lot she says, "Oh no! We're at Wal Mart."

Monkey and Bear age 2 - Bear says, "Holy crab! Holy crab!" Monkey tells him, "Don't say holy crab. Say holy cow. Grown ups say, holy crab."

Bear age 2 - The kids have never seen an ice cream bucket with ice cream in it. They think it is a sick bucket for when you have a stomach bug, so when Bear sees ice cream in an ice cream bucket he asks, "Why is the ice cream in a sick bucket?"

Bear age 2 - He is trying to slide a tab in a book over so he can see a picture and he can't do it. He says, "This is midiculous (ridiculous)!"

Bear age 2 - When I tell Bear the power is out, he says, "I want it in."

Bear age 2 - Is upset, because I told him, "Daddy is taking an airplane home." When we pull up to our house, Bear asks, "Where is the airplane?" He is so upset he won't come in the house and stays outside to pout.

Monkey age 2 - When daddy tells her he needs to do the dishes and can't play with her, she runs into the kitchen and screams, "Do the dishes! Do the dishes, Mommy, so Daddy can chase me! Do the dishes!"

Bear age 2 - Walks into My Gym and says, "Hello Miss Heather. I am a robot.", in a robot voice.

Monkey age 2 - During breakfast she is playing with her potato head and she says, "Potato head is on the loose, Spider Man uses his strong web to stop him!.

Bear age 3 - I am in the kitchen coloring with Monkey and I hear Bear say, "Brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack."

Monkey age 3 - Looks up into the sky and exclaims, "There is a road up there! The birdies made a road up there!", the first time she sees con-trails.

Monkey age 3 - sticks out her lower lip to pout and Grandma T tells her, "You shouldn't stick your lip out like that, because a bird'll poop on it". Monkey asks, "Where does a birdle live?"

Monkey age 3 - Grandma T is listing all the reasons we had a good day and Monkey adds, "and we saw ducks and lots of bird poop."

Monkey age 3 - She wants to watch a show Bear is afraid of, so she tells him, "Don't be scared. I will stay with you or you can look over there."

Bear and Monkey age 3 - Monkey says she wants a little brother and a little sister. Bear says, "I don't want either."

Monkey age 3 - During a play date Bear says, "I love baseball!." J says, "I love baseball!" Bear says, "I love baseball". Monkey, who was working on a sticker project across the room, tells me, "I will be right back." and goes over to the boys and tells them, "You can both love baseball." Then she comes back to me and says, "They can both love baseball, right, Mom?"

Monkey age 3 - says, "G is my friend. Sophie is my friend. Allison is my friend. Bear is my BEST friend."

Monkey age 3 - Tells me she wants to go to MI. I tell her, "Maybe we will go for Thanksgiving." She gets upset and says, "I don't want to go for Thanksgiving. I want to go to MI!"

Monkey age 3- Tells me, when we drive away from a drive thru, that "Her job is making Mc Donald's food." I ask her, "What is my job?" and she replies, "Cleaning the kitchen?"

Bear age 3 - Thinks we should name the babies, "Baby Boy and Baby Girl."

Bear age 4 - Is looking for his Lego guys and can't find them.Hubby tells him, "You don't do a very good job of looking." Bear replies, "I sure don't."

Monkey age 4 - I tell Monkey, "Daddy is stuck in traffic." Monkey asks, "Was it an idiot, Mommy?"

Monkey age 4 - She asks me, "Why did God make bad guys?" I tell her, "God didn't make bad guys, some people just choose to be bad." She asks, "Did they learn to be bad guys in bad guy school?"

Monkey age 4 - I ask Monkey to get me a tissue for Belly and she doesn't want to do it, but she does it anyway. On her way to hand it to me, she says, "I am tired of being Super Listening Girl."

Bear age 4 - When he hears how old Daddy is turning on his birthday, he says, "I don't think you will die."

Monkey age 5 - Says, "God made the rain to water the flowers and to wash away bad guys."

Bear age 5 - Asks me, "Did Jesus wear a sleep sack when he was in the manger?"

Bear age 5 - Says to Monkey, "I don't like girls....Except for you. You are the best. You are the best girl."

Bear age 5 - comes into our room in the middle of the night and says, "I lost my bed."

Bear age 5 - I tell him he needs to behave and he says, "I am being have. I am being how I have."

Monkey age 5 - When Grandpa A tells her he needs to go put on his "handsome clothes", she says as he walks away, "I hope it works!"

Bear age 5 - When I catch him and Monkey eating ice from a bowl Hubby was soaking his hurt toe in and tell them "That is gross." Bear says, "I like the taste of feet."

Bear age 5 - When Daddy says good morning to him, he says, "No."

So that is it so far. Kids truly are hilarious, without even meaning to be.

Friday, August 17, 2012

My day in the form of a poem

So it has been a month since I last updated my blog, so I figured I should post something.

Here is a poem I wrote today.

Peanut butter and crackers up your nosey.

Peanut butter and crackers on your tosies.

Cat food is not for eating,

Cat water soaked crackers is not amusing.

Stay out of the trash.

How many times do I need to tell you that?

I see you smashed your trash crackers on the floor.

I will tell you to "stay out of the trash" 20 times more.

Please stop pulling out your sister's hair.

I swatted your hand and you still didn't care.

Three whole rolls of toilet paper thrown in the toilet?

I bet you REALLY enjoyed it.

Turn off the TV and go outside to play.

You have already watched too many shows today.

I see you didn't do well when you wiped your bum.

Go back in the bathroom, so I can get the job done.

Two kids with pink eye and two more to go.

When will it show up? Nobody knows.

This is my day with two sets of twins.

No wonder I want to drink wine, before it even begins.