Thursday, January 31, 2013

Banning play dates

I am thinking about banning play dates. I know that is a crazy idea, but hear me out, okay?

My daughter has been asking if her best friend, Nelly, could come over after school almost daily for weeks. Monkey Girl of course waits until they have just gotten off of the bus and Nelly is anxiously looking at me with her pleading eyes to come over and I usually say, "no", because the babies have about an hour of happy time, after the big kids get home, and then we get the witching hour. They cry. They fight. They want to be held. Belly sticks her little arm in the, supposedly baby proofed, snack cupboard and pulls out anything she can reach and then throws a fit when I tell her dinner is almost done, so she can't have any snacks. Anyway, it is stressful and I don't need another kid in the house.

But yesterday Monkey Girl and Nelly's pleading got to me and I finally let her come over. Another little girl, from school, saw the girls heading into the house and wanted to come in too. Monkey Girl was yelling, "But I didn't invite her!" repeatedly. Ahh! So I told the other little girl, she was welcome to come in too, because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt a little girl's feelings and make her cry, which has actually happened before when Nelly invited Monkey Girl over. Anyway, I should not have let Rayna in the door.

She is adorable. She is really sweet, but while I was trying to make dinner, I heard Monkey Girl yell, "Mom! Rayna asked Bear to show her his bottom and he did!" What? No, no, no! This is not what a mother ever wants to hear, and the last thing I want to explain to another parent. Sure enough, I rushed from the kitchen to the living room just in time to see Bear pulling up his underwear and the back of his jeans. His excuse? "My friend, Rayna asked to see my bottom, so I showed it to her." So, I told him, for the hundredth time, "Your bottom is a private part and you never show anyone your private parts, except your mommy, your daddy, and the doctor when they are examining you." Monkey Girl chimed in with an, "and your sister!" "Okay, fine, and your sister."

So, I thought this would be the end of private parts showing, but oh no! Then Rayna wanted to play babies and she of course was the mommy and she wanted the girls to pull down their pants so she could change their diapers. Luckily, I put a stop to that before it happened. I have no doubt Monkey Girl and Nelly, would have went along with it. They were both about to do it. Did they not just hear my conversation with Bear, that you don't ever show anyone your private parts?!!

Anyway, then Bubba wanted to go potty and when he goes potty, he needs to be totally naked, even his socks must be removed. Who had to be in the room? Rayna. She told the other kids, "Ha! Ha! He is naked!" and wanted them to come watch too. She also had to be right there when I changed Belly's diaper. She followed me upstairs to make sure she got to watch. Then she walked in on Bear going potty upstairs. Then she walked in on Monkey Girl going potty, at the same time, downstairs, at which Monkey Girl, promptly screamed, "You never walk in on someone else when they are going to the bathroom!". I figured Rayna must just have to go to the bathroom too, so I let her know, Bear was finished and she could go use the bathroom upstairs if she had to go potty. She didn't go, so I guess she just wanted to watch my kids go. The other kids didn't appear to have any desire to see anyone naked. Nelly has two brothers and one of them is three years old. You know that kid is probably naked all the time, so Nelly has seen it all already. Plus, the other boy is a baby who is breastfed. Breastfed babies poop constantly, so if she hasn't seen the three year old boy naked, she has surely witnessed a baby boy repeatedly getting his diaper changed.

Rayna has a baby sister. Apparently, her need to see others naked has not been satisfied, so the next time I feel bad and the urge to let her in, so I don't make her cry, I think I will just suck it up and say, "No". I am way too busy to make sure everyone keeps their clothes on while she is here.